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Dear Husband Empty Dear Husband

Post by Big Momma House on Fri Aug 16, 2019 3:52 pm

Words can’t express how much I love you. You were the love of my life. I would have done anything for you and despite how much pain and heartache you’ve caused me, I will still be there for you if you should ever need me. Always and forever. No matter what. No matter what you do or say to me. My love is unconditional and will never die.

You said you loved me, but we both know you never did. Not the way I loved you. Not even close. If anything, I think you loved the way I looked when we first met and how much I loved you. You loved how I put you on a pedestal and made you feel so important and desired.

Having several kids and a demanding career that provided for our family took a toll on my appearance and our relationship.

For over a decade, you’ve looked at me with destain, stonewalled me, and gave all of your attention elsewhere. I didn’t feel loved by you, I felt hated. I felt lonely and depressed. I felt used. My self esteem was destroyed and it felt like you were doing it all on purpose. At times, I could see joy in your face when you would make me upset. You liked it.

I asked for the divorce and asked for you to leave because I felt so mistreated and I know I retaliated by doing the same to you. I shouldn’t have, but it was almost like an automatic reaction to the hurt and pain you were causing me.

I have acknowledged my faults and I am putting in the work to become a better person. While you recognize no fault in yourself. You refuse to acknowledge your lies, much less apologize for them.

I know it would never work between us because you don’t see anything wrong with you and refuse to change. You will never love me the way I love you. I have accepted this.

Yet, still, I can’t help but grieve the loss of our family unit. Something I don’t think I will ever be okay with or be able to move on from.

I loved you with all of my heart. I tried, so hard, and begged you to work on our marriage and try to save our family. I would have done anything for it. In my eyes, there is nothing more important.

It breaks my heart that you don’t feel the same.

I am not crying every day, all day, like I did when you first left. I can go days and feel okay, but the loss of our family still follows me.

I feel confident that I can find someone one day who loves me more than you did and treats me better. But I don’t think I will ever find someone I loved as much as I love you.

Words can’t express the pain I feel, while you seem to be going through this—void of emotion.

At our first hearing for the custody/visitation of the kids I cried in the courtroom. It wasn’t even our case being called, and big crocodile tears were streaming down my face. I was crying for all of the other parents in there, going through the same thing we are going through. I was crying for their children, because I can empathize with them, so much.

You didn’t shed a tear. You told me you were tired of putting the kids and me first and you wanted to put yourself first from now on.

I wish you were different. I wish you were the man I thought you were when we fell in love. But you’re not and I am grieving the loss of the man I loved more than life itself.

I’m not crying over you. You weren’t good to me. You treated me so horribly for so long; it feels good to not walk on eggshells anymore. I’m crying because our family is now divided and will never be the same again. I’m crying because our kids and the split holidays and everything that’s to follow. I’m crying because Our kids will never have a “home”—just “mom’s house” and “dad’s house” and you are too selfish to care.

Although I love you, I hate how you behave, who you have become, and what I know you’re capable of. All I can do is pray you will eventually see the error of your ways.

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To every parent on this forum who loves their kids and is grieving the loss of their marriage. Please know I empathize with you, so much. I’m crying, right now, for you. My heart breaks for you and your kids, as it does for my own.

People say it gets better, but I don’t think I’ll ever stop grieving the loss of my family. I just need to find a way to move forward.

In solidarity,

Big Momma House
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Dear Husband Empty :-(

Post by LRLM on Fri Aug 16, 2019 7:28 pm

Dear Husband 978502053 Dear Husband 978502053 Dear Husband 978502053
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